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by ameriboo
Summary: Watch "Baking Red Velvet Cupcakes" with Serena the Kalos Queen. Like and subscribe! Don't forget to read the description and click the bell to turn on post notifications!


#Baking #Cupcakes #ForMyFans

Baking Red Velvet Cupcakes with Serena

376,915 views • Dec 10, 20xx

Serena the Kalos Queen

5.3M Subscribers

. . .

"Hello, lovelies! Welcome to my channel! Thank you for joining me today for this special video."

Serena's sweet smile takes up her entire face. Her kitchen is pristine off-white with pastel pink details throughout the décor and cooking appliances. Standing behind the white marble kitchen island, with her rose-colored KitchenAid mixer at her side, an assortment of baking ingredients is displayed for the camera. Margarine, flour, eggs, red food coloring, chocolate chips, cream-cheese and sugar.

"As you know, today is Monday so I'm posting my weekly baking tutorial for you all. Baking is a hobby and passion of mine so I'm _always _excited to invite you into my kitchen."

The golden-haired goddess pulls out the glass bowl from the mixer and grabs hold of the carton of eggs.

"All organic and carefree," she says with a playful wink as she holds up a brown egg. "Don't want any classist flaming my comment section because I used regular eggs aha!"

"Anyways," Serena begins, "despite me working nine hours yesterday for an interview and photoshoot, and another five hours this morning, I was told by my management that I _had _to post a baking video today—"

She slams three entire eggs into the bowl, eggshells and all.

"—Because my subscribers will _miss_ me so much."

Chucking six more in the bowl, she starts slamming her fist into the eggy mess. Grabbing a silicone spoon, she repeatedly slams it against the bottom of the bowl until small globs of yolk hit her cheeks.

Maintaining a smile, she hits the spoon against the countertop and looks back up into the camera. "Next step is milk."

Serena grabs the tall glass liter of milk and tilts her head back before chugging half of it in heavy gulps then spitting it all into the bowl like a waterspout. "Yummy, right? It's so refreshing to get into baking. The milk comes from free-range cattle and looks just like the vial of literal _semen _one of my fans sent me in the mail! Isn't that so funny? One of my fans loved me so much that he sent me a vial of his own semen for me to either swallow, use on my face, or insert into myself aha! He gave me a very nice letter with instructions on what to do with it which I thought was so helpful, _not at all_ horrifying. As you know, lovelies, it's important to have tough skin when working in the performing business."

She wipes her hand on her floral, maid-like aprons and adjusts her headscarf. Cracking her fingers and her neck, she grabs hold of the bag of flour.

"Measurements are very important so make sure to pay attention!" Serena waves her pointer finger around in the shape of a heart for emphasis.

Grabbing a large knife, she stabs the bag of flour four times. She grunts with ever stab, her nose flaring.

_Shnk! Shnk! Shnk!_

The kitchen and Serena looked like a winter wonderland.

She dumps the remaining flour with the flick of her wrist. "See? Measurements!"

"Now, to the sugar," the blonde twirls her knife, catches it then places it directly into the bag of sugar.

"Baking sweets reminds me of the old days when I first started traveling! Some of you might know, I use to travel with a group of friends. Love to Ash, Clemont and Bonnie! And I know some of you know them because in the past I received death threats for traveling with Ash and Clemont! Apparently, 'their' Serena wouldn't look at another boy other than them. Even my dear, lovely and supportive friends were competition. Isn't that silly? I think I still have the group photo where someone actually cut out a picture of Ash's face and put their own. Even though I was barely fourteen at the time, to have such devoted and artistic fans? What a blessing!"

She stabs the sugar harsher, grabbing her other hand and pressing deeply into the bag. _Shhhhunk!_

"That's crazy that I'm eighteen-years old and had to deal with such passionate fans at such an age. I was a baby and those men were _gross_."

Serena's sunshine smile withers slightly as her eyebrows loosen.

"I—I loved performing. I became the Kalos Queen after so many failures. I left my people to Hoenn and it just got more apparent that for every kind, supportive person cheering you on there were literal monsters wanting to eat you alive."

The air is still as she ducks her head low. Chine blue eyes look at the marble in a daze. Fluttering her eyes close, she lifts her head up to smile directly towards the camera. "…Add your sugar!

She lazily whips the sugar above the bowl with barely a cup making it in. Smiling in chagrined, loving way, Serena opens the jar of semi-sweet chocolate chips and pops some in her mouth.

"Ash had such the sweet tooth," she sighs dreamlike. "He'd love my desserts and he'd share them with his pokémon. It used to make me melt. Now I don't see him other than postcards and emails and that makes so many of my loyal fans happy."

She presses the chocolate chip against the marble in a fierce splat.

"So! Happy!"

Another chocolate chip is smeared against the counter.

"For some strange reason, they loved me alone and knew when I was. Messages from fans saying they are close by and around me. That they can smell _me_. Ha! What a laugh."

She smears the chocolate all over her hands and smushes her hands in the off-white concoction playfully.

In a hollow, disgruntled voice, she says directly into the camera: "I just think it's hilarious how these boys think I am theirs. That every performance, every contest was for them. Socially awkward men who love fake women praise me and put me above girls like Aria and Miette and Shauna because I am worthy enough to be their bias. Their _waifu_. As if me and Shauna didn't hook up last week. As if I am not real and capable of being disgusted."

She spits into the bowl and slams it against the KitchenAid stand mixer. Pressing the highest button, she watches as the mess mixes.

"And you. Yes, you watching. If you're a fan that just came here to see me twirl a spatula and make fucking red velvet cupcakes, I am not sorry. You should watch this anyway, get a laugh and post online how I lost my shit. Wa-wah. But if you're the fan that slut shames me for wearing shorts on live television or sends me their nudes over social media, well, this is for you!"

Serena reaches for the red food coloring and drops it all in the mixture till it's as red as blood.

She waits a few minutes before firmly grabbing the bowl and dumping the mess right before her. It's pile of milky red dough full of broken eggshells and clumps of sugar.

"This? I made it myself. Just like I shit and piss and grow body hair from every part of my body. But those aren't the bodily functions you care about, you sick fucks."

Grabbing a rolling pin from drawer behind her, she slams it against the pile of goo and like a feral grandmother, digs the rolling pan as if it was raw meat.

"Actually, I take that back. Some of you sickos are into all of that jazz. Why can't you just buy my merch and shut the fuck up? Buy enough glittery sweatshirts with my name on it so I can buy a cabin in the woods and run away from it all. I can have a campfire every night. Braxien loves campfires."

She lifts the rolling pin. "I'm fucking tired," Serena deadpans.

Serena's lips thinned into something dangerous.

_Bang! Bang!_

Splatters of red goes everywhere as she slams the rolling pin against the marble.

"I!"

_BANG!_

"HATE!"

_BANG! _

"YOU!"

The wooden pin cracks. Serena catches her breath, panting as she throws it to the side. Covered in a red massacre and sweating, she wipes it off with the back of her arm in a smear.

A touch of dough hangs off her mouth. Serena spits it out on the marble and looks at the mess she's made. "…Yeah I'm not cleaning this shit."

She unties her apron and wrestles her hair out of the silk scarf.

"Ta-da! Red velvet cupcakes! Like, subscribe and stay tuned to my daily vlogging channel where I'll take you to my next hair appointment where I shave my head. Bye-bye!"

With her hands in the shape of a heart, Serena signs off.


End file.
